The story of the egg

Scene 1:

BRINESTONE brings in groceries from Costco. LEGO sees 18 pack of eggs and calls them “funny eggs.”

LEGO: I want an egg for lunch.

BRINESTONE: Okay. [Begins washing pot for boiling the egg. Leaves egg carton on table.]

LEGO: Can I crack this egg?

BRINESTONE: No! No. Put it back. Put the egg back right now. [Continues washing pot.]

LEGO starts “cracking” the egg on the table. BRINESTONE catches him just in time, before egg guts start spilling out all over but after the egg is totally smashed. BRINESTONE takes egg and puts it in a mixing bowl because she doesn’t want to waste it and maybe she’ll make cookies or something with it after lunch. LEGO has a TIME OUT.

Scene 2:

While clearing up after dinner, BRINESTONE notices that she never actually made those cookies and that the egg is still in the mixing bowl. The egg has been beaten with a wire whisk, which is now on the counter. Scrambled egg is also on the counter. BRINESTONE puts whisk in sink, washes counter, and places mixing bowl beside sink to wash tomorrow.

Scene 3:

BRINESTONE and LEGO are washing dishes. LEGO sees large, blue bowl.

LEGO: Should we wash this?

BRINESTONE: Not yet.

LEGO grabs large, blue bowl anyway and tries to put it in the sink, knocking mixing bowl containing day-old scrambled raw egg off countertop. Day-old scrambled, raw egg splashes all over rug, floor, and chair.

BRINESTONE cleans up mess and washes any remaining egg down the sink, which she should have done in the first place.

BRINESTONE: I know you just want to help. But you are just a little boy, and even though Mommy lets you help sometimes, that doesn’t mean you’re ready to do everything without Mommy. So don’t try to cook or do dishes or clean up without Mommy helping you, okay?

EXEUNT.

(He also “helped” with dinner, which meant he poured a can of tomatoes in when the onions were supposed to be frying and also poured about a tablespoon of thyme in, when only a teaspoon was called for. It’s lovely how he manages to do these things when I’m not looking.)

(Also, yes, my dishes situation was as bad yesterday as it sounds. I’ve been sick over the weekend, and then I’ve been very busy with errands, laundry, catchup, and piano lessons since, plus Duplo has been going to bed at midnight. The dishes have suffered. I’ve almost gotten them finished now, though.)