Being decisive

I love making up my mind. It’s the most liberating feeling in the world to decide to do something and feel actual conviction behind it.

When I was taking calculus in high school and performing rather poorly in it, it occurred to me that I hated math and never wanted to take it again. I hadn’t realized this fact because I had done quite well in all math classes but calculus, and sometimes it’s easy to mistake the things you’re good at for the things you like. But here I was, having my butt kicked by calculus, and I realized that I had never liked math at all. That was when I decided to major in English. I have never regretted that decision.

Today I decided to switch obstetricians. I don’t like my doctor. I want a doctor who will take me seriously, who will be nurturing and kind to me in the delivery room. I don’t want a doctor who acts like she’s seen and done all this before and has more urgent patients to get to. I don’t want a doctor who makes me wait over an hour for my appointments and then only sees me for five minutes. And I especially don’t want a doctor who is flippant to me.

Did I mention she left in the middle of my appointment today to take a call—which, by the way, sounded suspiciously like a personal call? Oh, and she left the room before I got a chance to ask her a question I had, so I called out to her that I still had one more question. She did turn around, but she took a while to come back into the room, and she never did close the door. I’ve heard she’s “the best,” but for me, she simply isn’t the best. I don’t care what kind of credentials this doctor has if I can’t trust her and feel comfortable around her.

So, at 32 weeks, I’m switching doctors. The nurses at the study I’m participating in gave me a recommendation when I was there and mentioned I wasn’t totally happy with my doctor. I’m crossing my fingers, but I don’t really feel wishy washy about my decision. I really can’t imagine any doctor being worse than the one I’m with now, so any change I make will at least be neutral if not better.


  1. Good for you. I hope you find a doctor you really get along with.

    I’m intrigued that you’re involved in a study. Most of my freelance last semester was theses, and so now all studies sound inherently interesting and worthwhile.

  2. I’m only in the study because this is my first pregnancy. It’s for preeclampsia prediction and prevention. I actually suspect that their study is less than foolproof. See, I’m in both the prediction and the prevention studies. So if I had a tendency toward preeclampsia and they accurately predicted it, how would they know if they also successfully prevented it?

    Inquiring minds want to know.

  3. Look on the bright side: in exchange for being stuck with needles all the time, you got free early ultrasounds and Target gift cards. Huzzah!

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