I love making up my mind. It’s the most liberating feeling in the world to decide to do something and feel actual conviction behind it.
When I was taking calculus in high school and performing rather poorly in it, it occurred to me that I hated math and never wanted to take it again. I hadn’t realized this fact because I had done quite well in all math classes but calculus, and sometimes it’s easy to mistake the things you’re good at for the things you like. But here I was, having my butt kicked by calculus, and I realized that I had never liked math at all. That was when I decided to major in English. I have never regretted that decision.
Today I decided to switch obstetricians. I don’t like my doctor. I want a doctor who will take me seriously, who will be nurturing and kind to me in the delivery room. I don’t want a doctor who acts like she’s seen and done all this before and has more urgent patients to get to. I don’t want a doctor who makes me wait over an hour for my appointments and then only sees me for five minutes. And I especially don’t want a doctor who is flippant to me.
Did I mention she left in the middle of my appointment today to take a call—which, by the way, sounded suspiciously like a personal call? Oh, and she left the room before I got a chance to ask her a question I had, so I called out to her that I still had one more question. She did turn around, but she took a while to come back into the room, and she never did close the door. I’ve heard she’s “the best,” but for me, she simply isn’t the best. I don’t care what kind of credentials this doctor has if I can’t trust her and feel comfortable around her.
So, at 32 weeks, I’m switching doctors. The nurses at the study I’m participating in gave me a recommendation when I was there and mentioned I wasn’t totally happy with my doctor. I’m crossing my fingers, but I don’t really feel wishy washy about my decision. I really can’t imagine any doctor being worse than the one I’m with now, so any change I make will at least be neutral if not better.